Esteemed comic Bill Bailey states that the English, as a race, crave disappointment.
I’ve been musing a lot recently on the the subtler powers at work in the human psychology and came to the conclusion that I have always found disappointment a more powerful force than anger. Occasionally advised as a treatment for recalcitrant youth running wild in the homestead, I’ve found that in my experience its force extends further long into adulthood.
The problem with anger is that being on the receiving end will generally do one of two things: trigger a collapse into tears or ignite a fiery defensive riposte. Before long a simple disagreement over the best thing about being a pirate can escalate into a full blown cutlass thrusting brawl. It’s very rare that an individual, angrily told that he has ‘a really stupid face’, will feel obliged to change his ways. One sees this often in modern day disagreements between the smoker and the non. More often the non-smoker gets worked up about the smoke being blown in their faces and angrily indicates no smoking signs the more virulently the smoker doth take up his cigarette in defience at the system. Although of course the addictive power of nicotine plays no small role. I’ve heard it claimed that some people smoke just so they won’t become militant non smokers.
I am reminded of another parallel in the violent and frankly illogical protests by animal rights activists. Being a vegetarian myself, and believing in the moral case for it, I find myself slapping my head in frustration with the anger tactics of these hotheaded fools. Who would want to be associated with a movement that espouses violence as a way to stop violence? Then again this kind of fuzzy thinking seems to be employed by almost all those in positions of power these days. Yes, there is a place for intervention but one musn’t charge in all cock-a-hoop with the mad idea that beating people upside the head will somehow heal their suffering. The only message they might learn is that violence is not the answer unless you do loads of it while well dressed, and then of course it’s very proper.
Now all that seems like a whole lot of shit to me. If you want to have an influence and really change things then what you need is the true withering force of disappointment. There is no riposte to disappointment, it’s not a direct attack; it slides by you, making you think at first you’ve got away with it. Then you realise that you’ve actually lost something, you’ve dropped down in the social spectrum. Somehow you are lessened and you know you only have yourself to blame. Where to now? The way back is through redemption, you have to absolve yourself and prove yourself worthy again.
Imagine the smoker, instead of angrily shouting in his or her face try a dissapointed but polite ‘Oh’ when they ask if they can smoke. Make it clear that you thought they were a little better than that and really that they owe it themselves to probably, you know, in time phase it out - because frankly speaking its a little embarrasing for a modern cool and funky gentlemen or a young and stylish lady to be indulging in such a backward practice. Of course the coda of disappointment indicates that you musn’t say these things, but merely ‘make them known’. Once the general message gets out through the codes of looks and small frowns that the practice of smoking just isn’t cool, but that noone wants to embarrass anyone by actually mentioning it; it’d probably stop overnight.
Oh you can’t beat the refreshing frisson of a little angry debate here and there for sure, its honest brutal and very immediate. However if you favour real, albeit gentle, change then one must understand the subtler forces of the slightly disapproving eyebrow.
To introduce this story I should start by saying that I have a new job! It’s pretty ace, in fact I’m there right now. I do Web Support for e-lab and although that my sound boring, it’s not. The people are brilliant and I work about 20 feet from 




