Well fuck me, if it isn’t another sport-tastic weekend of tremendously fascinating sporting sport! Everyone loves sport and if you meet anyone who claims not to be permanently pumped full of sports-based, sporting info spheres then they’re guaranteed to be a sub-human cunt destined to forever lick the sporting boots of the superior athletic master race.
Everywhere I look there is sport just spurting through the nets of the big sports stadiums and into our sporting lives. Could life be any better if god himself was shitting world cups? There’s the biggest sports on the day of sports, bigger sporty sports following on straight after and more sporting sport based sport news about our universal heroes of sport than ever before. There has been so much sporting excitement the contents of my bowels have exploded outward in a simultaneous sporting detonation of epically sporting proportions, shooting a full load of sport all over the sports field, on which I live, sleep and dream of more sports. Can the very skin that binds our fair land’s skeletal communities and cultural organs survive this much sport at once, without breaking out in sports all over its national body? Chances are if this did happen did it would be amazingly great like all sport definitely is.
The question on every right thinking minded adults lips is; who will win the biggest of sporting sports and get to wear the big crown that says “I’m the best at sports you inferior cocksucking shits”? I predict that there will be one massive winner, and that winner is: sports. The very best thing about there being so much sports happening is that we can talk continuously about sports all the time to make sure that the sport has been correctly examined from every possible angle in case of any sporting oversights that we need to inform the national sports teams all about. At length, they are totally interested in hearing all about our completely brilliant sporting ideas.
Frankly if I don’t spend every moment of my life injecting gigantic syringes of sport enhancing drugs I had better spend it learning every last detail about our true sporting legends - every ache, pain and pensive look. It’s the only way to truly feel the sports running through your sporting veins. Thinking entirely in sports is the best way to play like a good sportsman at life, so be a sport and start sporting your national sport’s colours because the sports are here and they are the most important sports ever to have happened because we’re in them and the sport might never be this sporty ever again at least until the next sport load dumped into your sport receiver next sporting sport time.
Don’t forget: sports.
As if you fucking could.
I’ve just read the word “sport” so much it has started to change into the sorry figure of a crying ape before my very eyes.
SPORT!