I often read BBC news online when I’m at work to keep me apprised of, well, news. And I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in the Health section: everything causes cancer. Now I’m not just talking about the obvious ones. Some of the most ridiculous things apparently cause cancer. Even things that are meant to be good for you! Brilliant. Here are some of my favourites:
- Bread
- Red meat
- Milk
- Salt
- Vegetables - Seriously, how are you meant to win here?
- Being tall, for men, and women - This one angered me. How are you meant to do anything about being tall? How does this study actually help prevention? Excuse me while I go and chop the bottom of my legs off.
- Obesity
- Growth spurts
- Infections - No shit sherlock.
- Herpes
- Pollution
- Hormone replacement therapy
- Oral sex - This one was on there today, and prompted this post. It also made me chuckle. That’s probably a bad thing.
- The Immune system - OK. Now we really are screwed.
- Stress - See, it is all in your head.
- Bacteria - But also, in your body.
- X-rays - Keep that git Superman away from me!
I appreciate that some of these may have been proved wrong by now, but there’s a new one every week I swear.
We’re all going to die :-(
You know what else causes cancer? Homosexuality.
Do you get much cancer in the wild?
Nick needs to know. NOW.
I’m so fucked.
I have to be honest here… a friend of mine is very concerned with her intake of aspartame because she heard that it may cause cancer. As a result, she refuses to buy or ingest anything containing it. I say, to hell with being so damn careful. If I have to choose between giving up some of the things I enjoy therefore living so safely that I’m hardly living at all, or dying 10 years earlier than I would yet living a full life, I think I’ll choose the latter. And also, if everyone is so damn scared of cancer, than why don’t we all just stop driving cars, because death by car accidents is a whole lot more likely than getting cancer from aspartame!
mmm(scratching head) yah mmm this sucks :(
Ain’t dat ah BIYYTCH!!!
thing like life
Seriously now, don’t chop your legs off, it’ll be harder to get to chemo. I think the height one was just thrown out there to make us short people feel better :)
I love how under the picture of the “cancerous bread” it recommends eating vegetables instead and then later it says vegetables are cancerous too.
How can we stop avoid cancer if every thing causes cancer